The Swimsuit

Sterling has spent as much time in the swimming pool as he has spent doing anything else, during our cruise to Alaska. Seriously!

He goes down to the pool after dinner and comes back as late as midnight. One night, his grandmother, who was worried about him, got out of bed to find him.

He has been swimming so much, his suit broke. By broke, I mean the drawstring isn’t there any more. It works. It works fine. You could take a shoelace and tie it through the eyeholes and it would be fine. You could go to any convenience store on the ship (and there are plenty) and buy a safety pin. But, Sterling must have a new (insert broken or used item here).

When I was a kid, we used stuff to death. Pants had holes in the knee…POOF…a pair of scissors later and you had shorts. You break your (whatever) and you rip it apart and make a (whatever you made cause your parents didn’t have a ton of money).

Last night he announced to me that he needed a new swimsuit. He showed me the broken drawstring. I asked him if he brought a pair of shorts. His initial reply was no. This was where grandma offered to get him a new suit. That didn’t set well with me. I have the money to buy him a new suit, but if he took better care of his stuff it would last longer. OR, if he knew he wasn’t going to get a new (whatever) every time something gained a bit of character (age), he would have more respect for the things he has. I grabbed his swim trunks and began attempting to fix them. If I were the kid and my dad looked at those shorts…he’d fix them and tell me to wear them.

Later in the afternoon, Sterling and I were washing his dirty clothes. The last item to be placed in the washer was a pair of shorts. I quickly grabbed these shorts and asked Sterling what they were. “Shorts” he replied. I asked him why he told me that he had not brought any. “I forgot” said he. As much as he says “I forgot”, you’d think he had some major head trauma OR is constantly smoking weed.

Sterling then attempted to argue as to why he can’t just wear shorts while swimming. “Blah, blah, blah” is all I heard. It was maddening! With laundry done, we walked back to the room. I told him he was going to wear the old swim trunks or his shorts that I found. His grandmother, after listening to he and I argue about this, announced to us that she would buy Sterling a pair of trunks.

He has a pair of shorts he could wear. He has a pair of trunks that he can wear but doesn’t want to. Two pairs of shorts he could wear swimming and his grandma offers to buy him a suit. This is the same grandma that constantly tells me that Sterling should be saving money not spending. She is doing the same thing with clothes. Sterling should be saving the clothes…not tossing them and getting new.

An hour later, Sterling went downstairs to buy a new suit. Twenty minutes later he came back without a suit. All the stores were closed. An hour after that we all went to bed after arguing with on another about three different topics. You gotta love family vacations.

Next day, we went to Skagway for the day. Gone for 5 hours, we were. When we came back, Sterling went straight to the pool in his old, worn out pair of swim trunks. After two hours of swimming, I sarcastically told his grandmother that the poor kid was swimming in trunks that were probably, “Falling off of him because they are so beat up and old. No son of mine should be seen in trunks like that.” His grandmother then got up and started putting on her shoes in preparation for going to a store to buy her grandson a pair of swim trunks. This is where I told her I wasn’t being serious. I was being sarcastic. It didn’t matter, she was off to get the shorts.

I was saved by the fact that this boat has everything except a pair of swim trunks. She came back empty handed.

Seven hours of swimming today. Seven! Not one mention of a new suit. Looks like those old trunks work just fine. What a surprise.