Liar, Liar...your hot dog's on fire.

I finished up my week at work and headed home.  Upon entering and rummaging around in the kitchen I noticed a black ash-like substance on the stove.  It almost looked like pepper.  Sterling wasn't home, so I couldn't ask him what it was.  I'd have to wait.  When I couldn't figure out what it was I cleaned it up.

Half an hour later Sterling came through the door.  He plopped in front of the computer and started clicking away on the keyboard.
"What was the black stuff on the stove?"  I asked. 
"What?" 
"The stuff on the stove...what did you burn?"  I continued.
"Oh, I was cooking and my friend Jake came up behind me and scared me.  The hot dog caught on fire."  He said.
Wait...What???!!!  How does that make any sense. 
This is the place of many questions that he always leads me to.

"Lets start from the beginning."  I started.  "You were cooking a hot dog, your friend came up behind you, grabbed you and that scared you.  So, you in turn jumped and the hot dog went flying and caught on fire, somehow"
"Kind of."  He said.
"How did the hot dog catch on fire?"  I asked.
"It landed on the element."  He said.
"How long was it on the element?"  Said I.
"A couple of seconds"

OK...this is where I lost it.  I counted to three to show him that there was no way a hot dog could catch on fire and leave ashes on the stove in the amount of time I counted. 
I then asked him if he wanted to change his story.  Nope.  He tried to stay the path of the fiery hot dog.  His story began to take on a different shape the longer I questioned him.  I'm not sure he realizes how silly he sounds telling me these tales.  He obviously thinks I'll believe him if he just continues down the road of the story that makes absolutely no sense.

Finally he told me what really happened.  He prefaced the story by letting me know I wasn't going to be happy about it.  AWESOME!
He and his friend Jake were lighting post it notes.  They were using the element on the stove to start the fires.
I caught him doing this before.  He had been lighting skewers with a lighter.  I discovered this because he had melted the linoleum in the kitchen. 

Needless to say, I was furious.  Now, he cannot have friends in the house when I am not around.
I also asked him not to use the stove as a match.  I also asked him to stop lighting stuff on fire.

Later in the week I found an assortment of burnt items on the patio.  I also found my BBQ was being used as the extinguisher.
          Lets nutshell...He was lighting stuff on fire in the house.  It was his second offense.  He was also lighting stuff on fire outside the house.  He could have caught the house on fire...
 

 Best part of the story...Where the hell did the hot dog come into play?  I mean...we went from hot dogs to post it notes!  He gave his lie absolutely no thought.  He used to blame stuff on his friends.  Then it was..."I don't know!".   Now it's inanamate objects.