Why yes, I do enjoy banging my head against the wall

Raising a child is no different than training.  Whether that's military training, school training or job training.  It is simple.  You tell the child what to do.  You show the child what to do.  You let the child do it by him/herself.  You coach the child if not done properly.  You let the child do it by him/herself again...and again and again and again and again and again and again.....
When it comes to a plan (any sort of plan.  What's happening that day.  What is going to happen tomorrow, etc) Sterling needs constant coaching and cannot make it, on his own, from point A to point B.  I have coached and praised and repeated myself and been sarcastic and been frustrated and been mad and repeated myself and repeated myself and repeated myself and repeated myself until my voicebox is swollen and barely works. 
Sterling woke me up this morning and told me THAT TODAY, he and his mom were leaving for California for 5 days.  What the hell???
"Are you ready to go?"  I asked. 
"I will be.  I just gotta pack when I get home" (soooooo, like usual, the procrastinator will wait until the effing last possible minute)
"Did your mother let the attendance office know?"
"I have the note in my backpack.  She gave it to me on Friday after school."  (Monday was MLK and no school...perfect)  
"Do your teachers know you are leaving?  Do you know what homework you have?" 
"No.  I'll get it today."  He said just a bit annoyed. 
Lets nutshell so far...He and his mother were leaving for California tomorrow sometime.  He didn't have an excused absence and he didn't know what his homework was.  AND he was letting me know he was leaving for 5 days the day he was leaving. 
I didn't know when she was going to pick him up.  His room is a mess BUT I had just done his laundry.
I sent his mother a text message at 7am asking her to call me when she woke up so I could plan for the remainder of the day.  When she called, she asked if she could pick up the boy tonight after she got off work.  (which I figured would be around 9 or 10pm)  She let me know that she did give Sterling the written excuse to get him out of school last Saturday.  "Sorry," she said after she realized he hadn't given the school/me/his teachers any time to prepare. 

Sterling and I have a dinner routine.  At his request.  Dinner is at 6pm and we sit down at the table together.  All fine and dandy.  I prepared dinner tonight and had it ready at 6pm.  He wasn't home.  I didn't call or text.   When I do, I discover his phone is usually turned off.  He called me at 6:28 to ask if he needed to come home to eat dinner as his mom was coming to pick him up later and could he just hang with his friends until she did. 
No.  I told him to come home.  Fifteen minutes later, he arrived with a friend.  "Dad, I brought home Dylan to meet you because I haven't introduced him to you."  He said.
He wasn't using his brain, it was apparent.  I guess he thought if he brought Dylan home he wouldn't have to do anything until his mom came to pick him up. 
"You have things to do."  I said.  I turned my head 15 degrees south and continued,   "nice to meet you Dylan."  Head swing back to Sterling and ACTION " Have you packed?  Have you had dinner?  Have you shown me the excused absence?  Have you told me what homework you have?  Have you cleaned your room?"
"...You gotta go, Dylan."  Sterling told him.
I got him to pack.  (with a bit of coaching)  I got him to clean his room.  I got him to put the remainder of dirty clothes in the washer and I got him to eat dinner.  When he was done with dinner I asked him, in an attempt to figure out his thought processes, (as if I didn't know) what he was thinking.  He had no good reason.

This crap is maddening.  It happens every time.  (if I'm not the one in charge)
That and I'm pissed he is leaving on my time of having him and not coming back until two days after I'm supposed to have him back.  The little prick pisses me off but I'd rather have him here and be pissed off at him than not have him here.
I'm getting a headache typing this...I'm gonna go and clean something and regain some control in my life.