For all the bitching I did...I wish he was here!

Sterling has been gone for 9 months now.  The house is quiet.  Nothing is out of place.  I can find everything.  The grocery bill is much less.  Phone bill is less.  Everything is less.
I miss him.
I had 10 years go away.  Ages 30-40.  I was lost.  I worked.  I enjoyed a cocktail.
When I was fortunate enough to gain custody of Sterling, I used him as a crutch to not see anybody or do anything except work.  That was a huge mistake.  I read a quote that said something like you are what you were.  The last few years I didn't date anyone and hung out with the boy.
Now I'm here alone.  I have nobody to share my time with.